I Won't Take You Back
by mrs-I-love-EdwardCullen
Summary: On the way home from Volterra in New Moon, Bella's trying not to let herself take Edward back; she wants to be angry. Too bad she's in love with him. One-shot. Teeny tiny bit OOC, but not drastic.-Rosalie


_I Won't Take You Back_

"Bella? Will you talk to me?" Edward looked down on me. I could feel his black eyes penetrating my skin, but I didn't meet them. I didn't feel like talking to him, even though he'd bought the plane tickets next to each other – I had been forced against my will to sit within the same mile as him. Sure – I didn't want him dead. That's why I'd gone to Italy for him, for crying out loud. Well, if he loved me enough to kill himself when he thought I was dead, then why'd he kill my soul in the first place? Stupid vampire. The only person in this world I could trust was Renée. At least I knew she's always be the crazy person I'd grown up with. I couldn't even trust Jacob. First he's my best friend. Next, he claims he's _in love_ with me. I was through with love, especially with mythical characters. You never know when they'll decide to leave for "your own safety." As if they're so superior just because they're deadly.

I finally looked up at him. I was surprised at how calm I stayed; I expected to feel the pang of pain I'd gotten every time I'd thought of him for months, and then to remember that I'd decided _I'd_ be done with _him_, but all I felt was the automatic resentment. I was satisfied that I could skip the ex-usual feelings. "Quit talking to me," I said, my voice as cold and hard as his skin. "I can't believe how much nerve you have. To think I haven't _thought_ for six months because of _you_."

I didn't think a vampire could be in emotional pain, but just goes to show you – he never stopped loving me. I felt a sharp twinge of guilt that I'd hurt him this way, but I then remembered why I'd gotten over this suave-but-selfish guy. He pulled himself together in a matter of seconds.

"Bella –" he sighed when he saw my reaction. "Never mind. Alice," he called without changing the volume of his voice. Suddenly, the only vampire I could even _remotely_ like was in the aisle next to me. I forced a smile to let her know I was okay with _her_.

"What?" she whispered, vampire-volume. I could hear only because she was leaning over me. She was glaring at Edward, which confused me; they were very best friends.

Edward shifted uncomfortably in his economy-class seat. "Will you switch with Bella?" He asked rudely, and I refused to go along with it, even though I wanted to; he needed to learn to take charge in ways _other_ than ordering people around.

This time, Alice was thinking the same way I was. "I don't think that's your decision. How about I switch with _you_? _You_ can sit alone, I'm sure you can take care of yourself."

I was sure she was saying terrible things in her head, because Edward, however indifferent, got up and lightly stepped over my legs. I didn't make an effort to move for him. Though he could have avoided Alice gracefully, he shoved her, and, caught by surprise, she landed in his seat. Alice cleared her throat at an extremely low volume, and said, "So, Bella, what are you doing to get him to flinch away like a young werewolf?" Her words doubly hurt me, as I'm sure was intended, and I wondered if a chattering, irritated Alice was much better than a silent but expectant Edward. I decided yes; Alice hadn't hurt me deeply. I doubted that Charlie would ever forgive Edward like he had Alice. I doubted if _I _would. I'm sure my ex-love for him would cave over so that I wouldn't feel compelled to hurt him back in about a month. Maybe I'd control my feelings enough so that if Jacob _did_ hurt Edward, it wouldn't be because I asked him to. I hoped.

"Well," I thought of the best response to her inquiry, "I'm sure Jacob's fine, thanks. And as for Edward… I can't get over how he hurt me. The way he left me on the forest floor… the way he convinced a lovesick me that he didn't love me back anymore…" I trailed off, realizing this was getting too personal.

"That's a good reason, I guess. I'd get mad too. Too bad he's still obsessed with you." Alice looked at me with _yellow_ eyes, and it was more comfortable than Edward's pitch-black, agonized eyes.

"Well, I…" her stare was starting to make me nervous. "He's not obsessed. He should, like, go see Tanya or something." I gave myself another reason to dislike him, and I didn't expect jealousy. I expected a fresh flow of anger.

Alice stared at me. "He loves you, Bella, anyone can see _that_. And you can't forgive him? It was for your own –"

I automatically cut Alice off. "MY OWN GOOD?" I half-screamed, causing some stares and a few _shh_s. "How many times have I heard _that_, Alice? And did he have to break my heart? And another thing…" Alice held up a hand to silence me, but I kept going. I knew _this_ would get her attention: "If _Jasper_…" She looked up; "… was the problem, couldn't _he_ have left? He's the only out-of-control Cullen, not Edward."

Alice looked almost as hurt as Edward had a minute ago, but did I care? No. I just kept hurting my vampire friends. And my werewolf friends. And I hadn't seen my human friends for _real_ in what felt like years. I was even isolating Charlie. And this time, I didn't have a good reason. "B-b-but I couldn't let Jazz go alone." A vampire, stammering? Amazing. But I nodded at her, and I agreed.

"So _you_ could have gone with him. But Edward didn't have to. And if he did, he didn't have to break my heart. I said that before." I got up to end the conversation. When I passed Edward, his eyes were closed and he was breathing deeply. I knew he'd know it was me when I walked by, so I stopped and waited with a cold stare for when he opened his eyes. When he did, I widened my eyes and smiled involuntarily. His eyes were so pained, it made me happy. But not that I'd hurt him. It made me happy that I could take away his pain. I was upset that I was so terrible to the man who loved me.

And I still loved him. But I didn't _want _to. I didn't want to take that chance, that he'd hurt me again. And then it dawned on me: if he loved me as much as I knew he did, he wouldn't hurt me again. And I was hurting him, getting back at him.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. Then I walked back to Alice and said the same thing. Alice said "OK," and Edward had kept silent. Next thing I knew, I was waking up at the airport in Seattle. I was in Edward's arms, and I resisted. He felt me squirming, and he tightened his grip. "If I've got you one last time," he whispered, "I'm not letting you go until I have to."

"I'll give you a good reason," I threatened. "Charlie." He grinned, and I knew he forgave me for my behavior on the airplane. I still wanted to be mad, but my threat reminded me I wouldn't need to be. Charlie would be mad enough for the both of us. Edward leaned down to kiss me softly. I pushed him away. I didn't want to love him. I just wanted to not _hate_ him. He disregarded my push, and for half a second I forgot my eighteenth birthday and everything since. And forgetting was the best thing that I could have done. So I let myself take him back, and then I remembered. I was conflicted.

That's how I knew everything was back to normal.


End file.
